I Loved Jesus in the Night: A New Cooperator Brother's Reflection at the End of the Novitiate

To my dearest friends and family,

I Loved Jesus in the Night. The title immediately grabbed me when Sr. Helen Mary suggested I read it when we met in Nashville. It is written by a Dominican (Paul Murray, OP) about Mother Teresa (a woman I grew up revering) and her struggles in faith. Everything about the book and the woman recommending it indicated that I would love reading it, which I did. To be honest, though, I really only read it because of the title: I Loved Jesus in the Night. That sentence probably means so many different things to anyone who reads it; what captivates me is the idea of loving Jesus when I just don’t know anything else. It is a simple and honest description of faith.

I probably could have heard that title at a different moment of my life to a significantly smaller effect, but God has a funny way with timing. It came in the midst of my continued discernment about Dominican life when I had no idea what God was asking of me. This year has solidified my call to be a Dominican, but it also raised many questions. How am I called to be a Dominican? As a priest? As a brother? What will I do? In what ways will I serve? Can I really do this? Do they even want me? Who am I actually?

Silent and unseen, Christ was present in all these questions, always leading me. I know I am not alone in feeling that discerning your vocation can be a walk into a night of uncertainties. Even Mother Teresa wrote “Where is Jesus?” not because he was lost, but because she couldn’t see. Following God simply does not “feel good” all the time, and it rarely takes you where you plan on going. The best thing we can do is learn to rest in the hands of God and follow humbly.

For me, this has all been a part of coming to love and be united with the God of the living. My life is more alive, filled with questions and stimulated to growth. This growth takes us beyond ourselves into what we didn’t know before. Some things I thought I knew were really only the beginning (I have a sneaking suspicion that life in Christ is always like that). Today I know that the path I came here on is not going where I thought it was. I entered the Dominicans to become a priest, but I will be taking my first vows in August on the road to being a Cooperator Brother. It’s not the road I thought I was on, but it is indeed the one I am walking.

Now, I am willing to bet that the term “Cooperator Brother” is a bit confusing to many people, given that I didn’t understand it a year ago. In fact, I probably would have entered on this track had I really known what it was. One of the beauties of discernment is that God uses whatever he can to lead us where we cannot imagine. I saw priests growing up, but never brothers. I had met a few cooperator brothers briefly before entering, but I didn’t really understand their life. I still know only so much. But I can share what I do know and invite you all to ask whatever you would like.

To begin with, the vocation of all Dominicans is rooted in our baptismal call and communal life. The fundamental call of each and every baptized person to live a holy life and seek union with God is why we are here. Christians live out that call in many ways, but for a Dominican it begins in community. Our life is modeled after the early church in the Acts of the Apostles, holding all things in common and being of one mind and heart. We pray, eat, live and work together. The good that one does is the good that we all do. Lived well, the Dominican life is radically different from our individualistic culture. We are a family in the truest sense of the word because none of us can do the good we long to do on our own, we need each other. This is the ideal of course, but it is what we strive to be: brothers in Christ.

It is so important to understand communal life because priest, brother, sister and nun are all sharing in that one family. I believe that this family is absolutely where I belong. Whether I become a priest or brother, I am first a Dominican. This means we work together in the ministry of preaching, of sharing the good news with the world and inviting everyone to known Truth. Our province does this in campus ministries, parishes, schools, preaching missions and social justice. Being a priest or a brother means you work in different ways within those fields, but it is our work in cooperation. I still hope to teach theology, work in campus ministry, maybe even work in a foreign mission and whatever else God has in store.

So why a brother? I wish there were a simple answer for you. This year I set out to know myself, to know God, and to learn Love. What I have found in me is not a call to be a priest. I don’t have a desire to say the Mass, to administer the Sacraments or to be a pastor. Maybe I could be very good at those things, but that doesn’t mean I am called to do them. I feel called to live in community, to serve passionately, to minister within the sheepfold rather than as the shepherd.

Priests do these things as well, but they are also called to be the shepherd and to take on a distinct role in the church. While this is difficult for me to explain it is easy to see. When my brothers here talk about their longing to say Mass or to be confessors, I just do not have that desire. It is like listening to a friend explain why they love their girlfriend or wife, when you obviously don’t have those same feelings. She is his vocation, not yours. I have my own love, for serving as a brother. I have always been a brother in a large family and it seems to have stamped its seal on me.

It seems an injustice to describe my vocation so poorly, but it is still mine. I do not claim to be 100% certain about this decision, nor is it unchangeable in the future. Yet in the darkness of doubts and insecurity, there is also great peace. This decision is the fruit of much prayer and reflection. I have prayed daily that I may know myself better, and this is what I have found. Now it is time to trust that my prayers are not in vain and that what my eyes have been opened to is true.

This is not a completely new thought for me either. When I was first discerning with the Dominicans I asked about being a brother, but it was hard to grasp it with such little interaction. As the old saying in theology goes, “you can’t love what you don’t know.” Well, you certainly can’t discern what you don’t know. So I put it aside at the time and decided to follow as best I could with what I did know. Now, I know enough to follow God deeper.(And since I know many people will ask, I am still moving to Saint Louis in August for graduate school in theology and still have many years of formation.)

In the midst of all the nights this discernment has brought, God has never wavered. With the assurance that “those who seek shall find” we are always challenged to discard fear. I hope and pray that each of us will follow what God is asking, but we cannot live in fear of making the wrong choice. We are not free from doubts and questions, but enlivened by faith to live boldly for Christ. It is with faith, humility, and love that we say with Mother Teresa, “My key to heaven will be that I loved Jesus in the night.”

With love,
Br. Joseph Trout, Dominican novice

Click HERE to read Br. Joseph's previous reflection, published at the beginning of the novitiate.

Do This in Memory of Me: Reflection for Corpus Christi

One of the questions on my "examination of conscience" list demands of me how prepared and focused I was during the Divine Office and Mass. It recognizes that, in some cases, it can be rather a great failing to be distracted. Sometimes, of course, the distraction can be for a good reason--some word from Holy Scripture or from the preaching strikes one's heart and sends one to the merciful lap of the Heavenly Father to discuss one point or other of life. Or, one has brought to prayer and Mass a particular concern. Perhaps one is penitent for a sin committed, or a good deed left undone; or perhaps one is sorrowing over the troubles of a particular person or the world--I am thinking of a story I read in today's paper about Christian Choate, a young boy locked in a dog cage by his parents before they cruelly murdered him; a story that breaks my heart and makes me angry. But these are good distractions, if we may use that term. Bad distractions would be thinking of the food you're going to eat after Mass is over, or making out your agenda for the day, or stewing over some injury you suffered from someone else. Either way, whether good distractions or not-so-good, nothing makes me upset with myself like blinking and realizing that I have missed the words of consecration.

"The Holy Words" as I like to call them, are the words that changed the world and set about the redemption of humanity. It was in the transformation of the bread and wine into his body and blood that defined the sacrifice of the Cross, and made it clear for all time that with his whole being Jesus was offering himself in love for the salvation of the world. Here God the Son was giving himself perfectly, a thing that radically alters the universe. At the very core of what it means to exist--to have being--and to be apart of everything else, connected as we all are from beginning to end, was the very being who defines being making a choice that naturally impacts everything else. At the same time, this God is also a human, showing us what it is that makes humans so close to God--we can give ourselves in love too. All of this is going on at Catholic and Orthodox Churches around the world every day. Would that people were more attentive. My goodness! What a different world it would be, even if only Catholics and Orthodox Christians were changed. But, tragically, most of these people are asleep spiritually. They receive the grace of the Holy Eucharist, but allow it to lie dormant in them.

One story that chastises all of us who receive the Body and Blood of the Lord is that of Blessed Imelda, patron saint of first communicants. Imelda (1322-1331) was just a child when she insisted on entering a Dominican monastery of nuns. She was permitted to wear the habit and to enter into the liturgical ministry of the nuns--namely, the praying of the Divine Office. She was not, however, permitted to receive Holy Eucharist; she was deemed too young. This restriction, far from doing Imelda harm, only caused her to long for the Holy Eucharist as it ought to be longed for. In this way, her story resembles the first reading for this feast where St. Moses the Prophet says: "Remember how for forty years now Adonai, your God, has directed all your journeying in the desert, so as to test you by affliction and find out whether or not it was your intention to keep his commandments. He therefore let you be afflicted with hunger, and then fed you with manna, a food unknown to you and your fathers, in order to show you that not by bread alone does one live, but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of Adonai" (Deut. 8:2-3). Indeed, Blessed Imelda's longing for the Eucharist was answered in much the same way as the hunger of the wandering Israelites. A consecrated host from heaven appeared over her on the vigil of the Lord's Ascension while she was at prayer. A nun noticed this and alerted the monastery chaplain, who then administered the host to the joyful little nun. So thoroughly schooled in the truth of the Real Presence was Imelda that tradition says she literally died of happiness, found by the mother superior still kneeling and with a smile on her face.

It seems to me that this feast calls us to do two things. One, it calls us to a greater attentiveness to the reality of what we receive during Mass. As St. Paul declares in the second reading, "Brothers and sisters: the cup of blessing that we bless, is it not a participation in the blood of Christ? The bread that we break, is it not a participation in the body of Christ?" (1 Cor 10:16). If we really believe so, how is it that we receive Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament in such a sluggish and lazy manner? And how is it that we leave the Church and return to our sinful habits? We must imitate the great and blessed nun, little Imelda, and love the Lord more, allowing our love to awaken us and stir us to meet Jesus with eagerness and joy.

Two, Jesus himself--the one we go to meet in the Eucharist--has left us a command. Not only to eat his flesh and drink his blood as the way to eternal life, as we hear in today's Gospel (John 6:51-58), but to "Do this in memory of me". To me, this commandment is not just the institution imperative, establishing the sacrament of the Eucharist, it is also a moral imperative. Jesus is saying, just as I have given my body and my blood, so must you also give your body and your blood. In this way, we wage a spiritual war against our lazy humanity--our laziness toward Jesus as the object of our love, and our laziness toward loving our brothers and sisters in the world, who hunger for our love.

In this way, the Feast of Corpus Christi ought to appeal to two visible groups in the Church today--on the one hand, the devotional crowd who attend Eucharistic adoration, pray the rosary, etc., and on the other hand, the social justice crowd who protest abuses and advocate for real change in society. These two crowds come together for Eucharist each Mass, but this Feast of Corpus Christi demands that they come together in a stronger and more meaningful way. "Because the loaf of bread is one, we though many, are one body, for we all partake of the one loaf" (1 Cor 10:17), St. Paul says. The devotional types need to step out of their comfort zones more and work to end oppression and abuses in the world--not just on behalf of the unborn, but on behalf of all. And they should work for concrete changes. The social justice advocates need to take a break from their anger and seek refuge in the silence of our churches, sitting before the Lord and opening their hearts about the pain that they see in others or the pain they have themselves. Perhaps then the two crowds can see that they are on the same team and members of the same Church.

This is holy fire--the fire of love for our God, and the fire that makes us eager for the Reign of God to be manifest in our world. The Kingdom is among us already, the Messiah said. Where? Where? The world says. Here! Here! The Church says, as we partake in the feast again. Let us prove it to the world by loving completely, holding nothing back.
Br. Paul, OP

*I make a generalization and oversimplification about the "devotional" and "social justice" crowds simply to make a point. Pardon the exaggeration.

Summer Reading

"Her eyes were filled with tears of awful love and admiration; and she felt that pure devotion, superior to all the distinctions of human system, which lifts the soul above this world, and seems to expand it into a nobler nature; such devotion as can, perhaps, only be experienced, when the mind, rescued, for a moment, from the humbleness of earthly considerations, aspires to contemplate His power in the sublimity of His works, and His goodness in the infinity of His blessings."

That eloquent and pious sentiment is the reflection of Emily St. Aubert, the heroine of Ann Radcliffe's The Mysteries of Udolpho, a Gothic novel of the late 18th Century, and the current fiction selection for my summer reading. Actually, I just started reading this work this morning, inspired to do so by several of the essays I have been reading in one of my other summer selections, the 2011 edition of Persuasions: The Jane Austen Journal. This edition is devoted to Austen's Northanger Abbey, a parody of the Gothic novel, and one of Austen's works that mention the novels of Mrs. Radcliffe. I bought several Gothic novels this past semester with the intention of reading them this summer to fill-in the gaps of my 18th and 19th century English literary studies. This is easier said than done, as several of these works are quite long and are not nearly as good as Austen's works. 46 pages in, I find Mrs. Radcliffe's style readable, but verbose. Her characters are interesting, but flat, and there is hardly any dialogue to unite them together; rather, the narrator must do much of the work.

For theological reflection, I have been reading the great and saintly Anglican theologian's Reflections on the Psalms. C. S. Lewis' style is a delight to read, and the points he makes in such a short space are impressive. I hope to do a blog reflection on this work when I finish it, so I will save more of my thoughts for later. It is quite good and quite short, so I recommend it for those looking for a deeper summer read. My spiritual reading also includes the Gospel of Jesus Christ according to St. Luke.

And finally, I purchased a rather large tome on Monday entitled John Henry Newman: The Challenge to Evangelical Religion. In reading this work I hope to feed two birds with one hand--learning more about Bl. Newman, as well as continuing the cultivation of my understanding of the early Victorian Era and its religious turmoil. This 740 paged work will likely take me the whole of the summer to wade through. It is fortunate that I am interested in the topic, and have an understanding of the subject, given my thesis research in the area.

I just finished reading A Jane Austen Education by William Deresiewicz, and hope to have my book review of it published on another blog. I will keep you posted.

If you would like to recommend books as summer reading considerations for me or others, comment on this post and let us know what you're reading.
Br. Paul, OP

A New Provincial for St. Albert the Great Province

The friars of St. Albert the Great Province (Central, USA) have been on pins and needles the past six days, as the delegates to the provincial chapter convened and discussed, among other important items, who ought to be our new prior provincial. Fr. Michael Mascari, OP served our province well these past eight years, but his term ended last Thursday. In fact, one of his last acts as prior provincial was to receive my vows in place of Fr. Bruno Cadore, OP, Master of the Order. Michael's term will be remembered for many things, most notably moving our Bolivian vicariate closer to its merger with the German Bolivian vicariate, and spearheading the purchase of the former Loretto Academy in St. Louis to be the new home of the House of Studies (studentate) for the Central and Southern provinces.

The process for voting on the new prior provincial is necessarily a prayerful and slow one. The friars at the chapter celebrated the Mass of the Holy Spirit, asking for the Spirit's guidance on all aspects of the chapter. They also had plenty of silent time for reflection. Eventually, they gathered to discuss possible candidates, and once a fair number of candidates was agreed upon, the friars in question were brought in for interviews. This morning the delegates voted. Their pick was Fr. Charlie Bouchard, OP. I celebrate their pick, as my impression of my brother Charlie is that he is a hardworking, wise man. He brings energy and vision to everything he does, especially his preaching, which I have enjoyed several times while attending Mass at St. Francis Xavier College Church, the campus parish for the University of St. Louis.

One of Fr. Charlie's most important contributions to the province already has been the time he served as president of Aquinas Institute of Theology, a position now held by Fr. Richard Peddicord, OP. As president, Fr. Charlie oversaw the purchase of a new building for our school of theology and worked hard to establish AI as a well known institution of the Archdiocese of St. Louis.

Our new prior provincial faces many challenges, as do all of the men and women who have leadership ministries in the Church today. In particular, St. Albert's province has a growing number of older friars in need of medical care, and a growing number of younger friars in need of education. The friars in active ministry, too, have needs,--a sizable family of brothers to care for, indeed. He also has the new cost of a renovation project to work on, negotiations in Bolivia to participate in, as well as the continued need to proclaim the Word of God.

Please join me in praying for Fr. Charlie Bouchard, OP, as he begins the ministry of prior provincial. May the Holy Spirit who inspired the brothers to elect him, stay with him as friend and guide. Please also pray for the continued work of the provincial chapter, as it works to establish the vision for the province in the coming years.
Br. Paul, OP

Rivalry in the Order of Preachers: A Prayer for Pentecostal Unity

The Order of Preachers is not as united as it could be; there are rifts and tensions, old hurts and new insults. The friars of one province sometimes look down their noses at the friars of other provinces, believing they have the correct form of Dominican life, likewise the sisters. Even our habit--a sign of our common identity--becomes a symbol of discord when Dominicans use the wearing or not wearing of it to judge their brothers and sisters. Perhaps this reality of tension is as old as the order, or perhaps I am just sensitive to it, believing that it is increasingly alienating members of the order from each other.

Or maybe the tensions within the order reflect the tensions in the Church--the growing pains we are currently experiencing as we continue to discern the meaning and impact of Vatican II. Either way, I am disturbed by them. I fear that the competitiveness and the condescension I observe are eating away at the health of the order and may become a source of scandal for those who know Dominicans and hear the way they talk about their brothers and sisters. I feel that as the members of the order prepare to celebrate the 800th anniversary of the founding of the order in 2016, we need to address this threat to our unity and our preaching mission.

Perhaps I can offer three scripture passages to meditate upon--only three among many others. I feel these three passages stand in accusation against the present situation, and demand that we act to improve our fraternal and sororal connections, across provincial and congregational affiliations.

• "For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect" (Matt 5:46-48).
• "Those who say, 'I love God,' and hate their brothers or sisters, are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen. The commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also" (1 John 4:20-21).
• "If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing" (1 Cor 13:1-3).

These passages are all related. The sins addressed in them may be labelled provincialism (an exclusive identification with one's particular group), lack of charity, and self-righteousness. In each case, the preacher is trying to say the same thing: it does not matter if you belong to the right group, and it does not matter if you worship correctly, and it does not matter how orthodox your beliefs are, etc., because if these things do not teach you how to love, you have nothing. One could translate this in terms related to the Dominican tensions as: it does not matter if you wear or do not wear the habit, and it does not matter if your theology is flawlessly orthodox, and it does not matter if you unflaggingly work for social justice, and it does not matter if you are getting 2 or 22 vocations a year--if you are not loving, you are not Dominican.

Why this is so important is obvious. If people look at the order with the tensions between members of the provinces and congregations, they do not see a grace-filled Christian sign of the Kingdom, they see the old sinfulness of the world in a white and black package. What kind of holy preaching is that? The key, I think, is doing what Dominicans do best--talking. If Dominicans can break down the walls that insulate them by visiting communities in other provinces or congregations, then they will better see these friars, nuns, or sisters as family. Not only that, the presence of the visiting brother or sister would be a kind of cross-pollination, bringing new ideas or expressions to the home community.

It's easy to condemn theories; it's not so easy to condemn people you know and love. Our trouble is, we do not know one another anymore, and we're happy to go on living that way. But this is weak and cowardly for men and women who claim to seek Veritas (truth). And so on this Solemnity of Pentecost let us pray that the Holy Spirit of Wisdom and Charity, the Spirit who is the Veritas we Dominicans seek and love, would grant us greater unity, converting the hearts of the men and women of the Order, until our love for one another reflects the Gospel message we preach.

Br. Paul, OP

The above reflection was inspired both by my reflection on sibling rivalry in the Book of Genesis, and by the presentation given on conflict partnering by Sr. Donna Markham, OP at my province's summer assembly.

My Royal Wedding

On April 29th, 2011, news channels across the globe took a brief hiatus from reporting the litany of the world's miseries and turned with curious eyes on a handsome prince and his very beautiful bride. The Royal Wedding of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge was the stuff, not of fairy tales, but of down-to-earth human joy. Two souls united together publicly through a sacrament--a symbol of a mystical reality; that is, the reality that we are most human when we are giving ourselves away, in love, to other people. We humans have the capability to do that, to give our souls, in love, to others--to become one with others, not just contractually, but existentially, ontologically, mystically. In fact, we are happiest when we do this. Marriage is such a beautiful sacrament, precisely because it recognizes, facilitates, and encourages us to give ourselves away.

Even more important, marriage becomes a symbol for an even greater reality--the reality that the unity possible between two human persons is possible between the human soul and the Divine One, as well. St. Bernard wrote, "Of all the movements, sensations and feelings of the soul, love is the only one in which the creature can respond to the Creator and make some sort of similar return however unequal though it be. For when God loves, all he desires is to be loved in return; the sole purpose of his love is to be loved, in the knowledge that those who love him are made happy by their love of him."

The love romance between the Creator and humanity is recorded throughout the Holy Scriptures. To God, the human authors have written such beautiful lines as: "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine..." (Song of Songs 1:2); "O God, you are my God, I seek you, my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water" (Psalm 63 1:1); and "I loved her and sought her from my youth; I desired to take her for my bride, and became enamored of her beauty" (Wisdom 8:2). And who could forget the simple words of St. Peter, when he said, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you" (John 21:17).

God, in turn, has proposed his love to us, saying: "For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your builder marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you" (Isaiah 62:5) and "I will take you for my wife forever; I will take you for my wife in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy. I will take you for my wife in faithfulness; and you shall know the Lord" (Hosea 2:19-20). Matthew, Mark, and Luke all reference Jesus' self-identification as bridegroom (Matt 9:15; Mark 2:19; Luke 5:34), and in Matthew, Jesus describes those faithful Christians who are waiting for his return as virgins waiting for the bridegroom (Matt 25:1).

The image of the Christian as the Bride and Christ as the Bridegroom is an important one in the Book of Revelation. In the midst of that book's strange and frightening prophecies comes an image of light, of hope, and of joy--the image of the Bride longing for her Bridegroom (Rev 21-22). It reminds the Christian that he or she should be longing for the Second Coming, just as a bride would long for her lover's return.

Spousal spirituality has a place in Christian tradition among the saints. St. Catherine of Alexandria had a mystical marriage to Christ, as did St. Catherine of Siena. St. Bernard of Clairvaux, mentioned earlier, also spoke eloquently of spousal spirituality. My espousal to Christ occurred on January 17th, 2007. I was in the novitiate at the time, and was at prayer, when Jesus made it clear to me that his love for me was one of lover to beloved. In fact, he says this to all of us during the Holy Mass. When he gives us his body and blood for food and drink, he is pronouncing the words of an ardent lover for his beloved. Indeed, I think every Mass is a wedding, between Christ and the believer. He gives himself, and we receive him--the two becoming one in the highest way, a mystical marriage.

Although the term "Bride of Christ" is usually used for nuns and sisters, spousal spirituality is definitely a component to the profession of vows for male religious, as well, which is why I see this Wednesday as my wedding day. Christ has given himself to me freely, I will freely give myself to him, in return. If Kate Middleton was excited to be marrying the future king of England, how must I feel to be marrying the King of Heaven? How could I even dare such a thing? St. Bernard answered this, when he wrote:

"What then of the bride's hope, her aching desire, her passionate love, her confident assurance? Is all this to wilt just because she cannot match stride for stride with her giant, any more than she can view with honey for sweetness, rival the lamb for gentleness, show herself as white as the lily, burn as bright as the sun, be equal in love with him who is Love? No. It is true that the creature loves less because she is less. But if she loves with her whole being, nothing is lacking where everything is given. To love so ardently then is to share the marriage bond; she cannot love so much and not be totally loved, and it is in the perfect union of two hearts that complete and perfected marriage consists. Or are we to doubt that the soul is loved by the Word first and with a greater love?"

Please pray for me as I make this commitment to Christ, that I would love God with my whole being. And pray that the Holy Spirit would give me the virtues I need to be faithful for the rest of my life.

Thank you!
Br. Paul, OP

Quotes from St. Bernard come from Sermo 83, 4-6: Opera omnia, Edit. Cisterc. 2 (1958), 300-302 (or in the breviary for the proper of Aug. 20th, pp1333-1334).

Two More Candidates for the Novitiate

One of the perks of working for the vocations promoter and living at St. Pius V Priory (the mother house of St. Albert the Great Province) is getting to be present for exciting things like admissions boards. My province just held the last admissions board for the novitiate class of 2011/2012, this Friday and Saturday. Thanks be to God, two young men were approved, giving us a grand total of eight approved candidates for this summer.

Brandon McCaffery (shown on the left in the photo above) is a 22 year-old graduate of St. Mary's University and Immaculate Heart of Mary Seminary in Winona, MN. He has a BA in English Literature and Philosophy and has studied under the legendary Fr. Cy Fabian, OP; the second one in that category for this upcoming class (Kevin Masterson is the other). When not immersed in studies, Brandon edited the school newspaper, offered some of his own poetry for publication, and tutored math students in the local high school. Most notably, he recently celebrated his birthday in prison (not as an inmate, but preaching to the local inhabitants). Originally from South Bend, IN (Home of the Fighting Irish!), Brandon is an avid tennis and racquetball player.

Andrew Anderson (shown on the right in the photo) is a 24 year-old Area Coordinator for Aquinas College Residence Life. Like our beloved President of Aquinas Institute of Theology, Fr. Richard Peddicord, OP and "holy novice," Br. James Peter Trares, "Drew" ( as he is known) is a graduate of Aquinas College in Grand Rapids, MI. While there, he earned a BS in Geography and held membership in the same discernment group as James Peter. Drew originally comes from the bare desert of Southwest, AZ where his family resides today. When not with his students and attending to his 9 residence halls, Drew can be found hacking it up on the golf course. While yet to receive a call from Tiger Woods, Drew is an accomplished instructor and coach on the green. Away from the course, Drew can be found volunteering at Hope Lodge for cancer patients.*

After a delicious lunch here at the priory, I took Brandon and Drew downtown to walk around Chicago's beautiful lakefront. They are joyful eager young men, ready to begin a new phase in their relationship to God. Please keep them and their six classmates in prayer.

For those who may be wondering, there are many steps to becoming a Dominican friar, other than the obvious spiritual ones (prayer, receiving a vocational call from God, etc.). First, a man has to make contact with the friars, usually the vocation promoter is the ideal person to speak to. Second, the man should come visit the friars. In my province, an inquirer should visit the novitiate in Denver, the studentate in St. Louis, and the provincial headquarters in Chicago. That said, having a relationship with the friars in one of the smaller communities at our parishes and Newman centers certainly does count for something. Third, an inquirer usually attends a Come and See vocation discernment weekend at the studentate in St. Louis. This weekend gives the man a good idea of what the history and charism of the Order of Preachers are all about, and what the personality of the province is like. These are essential things to know (although they can be learned in ways besides the Come and See). The fourth step is for the man to formally apply to the province. This involves several things, but the main point of the application is to tell the admissions board about you and your spiritual journey. This helps them to discern with you to see if the Dominicans of this province are the right fit for you and vice versa. The last step is to go before the admissions board for the interviews. Once accepted, you eventually report to the prenovitiate in mid-July and begin the next process--living as a Dominican friar.

An important step of the process was discussed at lunch today, and I feel I have to share it, because it came from the oldest member of St. Albert's province--Benedict Ashley, OP. At one point in the conversation, Fr. Ashley lamented the fact that the young people of today are eager for the faith, and eager to give their lives to good works--but they are so weak in their commitments. His advice was simple, "Make up your minds, and then stick to your decisions!" Sage advice, not only to the two young candidates at the table, and not only to the young friar about to profess solemn vows (yours truly), but to us all. Fr. Ashley's advice recognizes that along with God's grace, the human will is a key component to living out one's vocation. We have to not only desire to do God's will, we have to actively will to keep willing that--to recommit, even in the face of difficulties. Only then can one come to celebrate, as so many of the friars of St. Pius V Priory are doing these days, fifty or sixty years of vowed life and priestly ordination.
Br. Paul, OP

*Note, another friar wrote the above descriptions of our candidates. The candidates gave me permission to use these descriptions and the photo in this blog article.

Paging Nurse Horwell, OP

On Thursday, May 19th, Br. Richard Horwell, O.P., graduated from the nursing program at St. Louis University. The event marked the successful completion of a rather intense year of studies and clinical work, everything from pediatrics to hospice. Not only did Br. Richard complete the necessary course work for his program, he excelled at it, graduating with honors.

Some may wonder why a Dominican student brother was studying nursing--just as they may wonder why I am going to be studying Writing and Publishing at DePaul University this fall. Like me, Br. Richard is a cooperator brother, so in discernment with his student master and provincial, along with the Holy Spirit, he was able to see that he could contribute to and support his Dominican community best by using the skills he has in healthcare. By being a nurse, he will not only get to care for the physical needs of his patients, but their spiritual needs, as well.

I lived with Br. Richard this past year, and I can testify to his dedication and hard work. Even if he was sick, Br. Richard did his best to study and complete his assignments. I was even a patient of his toward the end of the semester, when I came down with a nasty stomach virus. His bedside manner was truly consoling, as I could rely on his no-nonsense advice. I also observed what life Br. Richard's studies gave to the community. Just the novelty of it all was enough to add flavor to the conversations at meals and recreation. Doing something different, going someplace new in ministry, can breathe new air into a religious community, and give them fresh ideas about how to spread and apply the Gospel message.

I wish Nurse Horwell, OP, all the best as he continues his healthcare ministry.
Br. Paul, OP